I'm That Mom You Love To Hate: Playground Edition

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Yesterday my kids were whiny hot messes. After a day of errands and meltdowns and no naps, I knew today was going to require change. I thought of all our favorite museums that have both indoor and outdoor space, but I just didn't have the chutzpah to pack up The Stuff and go to a place to walk around. I tossed the kids in the car and decided we'd go to the playground in town. 

I set the kids free, smiled at some other moms, and found a dry spot. 

I'm that mom the Sanctimommies love to hate. 

Check out my 4.5 year-old hanging off this cliff. 

Can you spot my 2-year-old?

I can take better photos than these, but want everyone to see that I was all the way the heck over on the one dry bench spot like: 

hydrate.

It has nothing to do with it being 9am and my coffee being done and my second coffee not being made because I had to get the kids out of the house before they lost their minds, abandoning any hope of stuff like more coffee. I'm on that bench because I am. We don't live in one of those places you read about, where every type of mom is judging the other one, but if we were, I'd still act the same. And so should you. Not act like me, but do whatever you want. 

These are your kids. It is your life. Do what makes you and them happy. 

If you are at a playground and find yourself being Judge Judy, here are some things to think about:

Don't like the Hover Mom? Maybe she is protective of her kids. Or her only kid. Or her friend's kid. Or maybe her kid is a biter and she's tired of having to apologize to other moms when their kid gets bit. Maybe they have a special need that requires closer supervision. Maybe they have an inner ear issue and exceptionally bad balance. Go introduce yourself and tell her your kid's name, age, and your favorite candy bar. 

Have an issue with Bench Mom? Maybe she wants her kids to do some free thinking and exploring and the second she gets close their helplessness kicks into high gear and they stop problem solving. Maybe her kids are the kind that if she walks within 10 feet of them while they are playing they run and scream, thus interrupting their play and frustrating Mom. Maybe her toddler played the roll of Surprise Limp Noodle on the way out of the house and threw her back out and her chiropractor is closed on Fridays. (Sorry, was that too personal? I love my kids.) Maybe she needs 5 minutes to call a friend or text her partner the grocery list or check Facebook because it is the only adult interaction she'll have today until you go up and introduce yourself, point out your kids from a distance that makes you comfortable (unless you are a hoverer, but you can just yell, because it is a playground), and tell her about the last book (or anything) you read more than 3 sentences of. 

Is that Mom Group a little too chummy for your liking, while their kids run amuck? Maybe they haven't seen each other in a long time. Maybe they spend every day of every week together and still have awesome things to talk about every day. Maybe they are collectively watching each other's children out of the corner of each mom eye and aren't afraid to Village Parent when something goes down or a kid teeters on the edge of some cliff. You should definitely go ask if they are part of a larger group, and ask what their drive-thru coffee of choice is. 

The bottom line is that we are all in the same boat here. Judging just puts up a wall and often times the perception of being judged is all in our heads. If someone parents differently than you and helps (or "helps") your kid out, be it from jumping off the monkey bars or running into traffic, smile and thank them. Chances are they were genuinely concerned and aren't actually a Sanctimom, but someone happy to keep the closest child to them from injury. Maybe ask if they are from town. Because when we actually talk to each other and hear about other walks of life, we stop judging and we make friends. When we make friends with people that hang out in the same places with kids of similar ages, we build our Village. And little more is as important to parents as a supportive community of other parents to grow and learn with that are a car ride away. 

Incase anyone was worried, Miss V and Julia the Child both made it to the top of their towers without interference or injury. Neither had previously attempted this feat, both were extremely proud. 

Just don't tell her I was that close. She'll run away, screaming.

A Summer Lunch

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 First, a confession. I like McDonalds.  It usually makes my stomach hurt, and I never want to think about what is in it or how bad it is for me and for so many more aspects of the world, but every once in a while, there is nothing like their fake burgers with plastic-y cheese.

The other day, we were in a bit of a time crunch and, given our impending trip, had nothing in the house that could be turned into lunch in a matter of minutes.  I went through the drive-thru (it is literally right down the street) at McDonalds.  I paid entirely too much for two adult meals and a happy meal, but there lunch was.

V. loves french fries, but when it came to the nuggets, she would not eat them.  The only "nuggets" she has known are homemade or Perdue, and she absolutely would not eat the McDonalds meal.  (So I ate them.)

*I just realized that my child has, more than once, helped her to the chicken chunks in our puppy's store-bought kibble.  What does that tell you about nuggets. Now I wish I hadn't eaten them...*

People are constantly complimenting V. on her pallet, how she eats - and loves - all food.  She'll happily eat everything from artichokes to zucchini with enthusiasm.  (Except McDonalds and canned black olives.)  But it isn't that she is a "good eater," it is that we started her eating a variety of things at a young age and haven't really given her the choice.

Husby and I believe whole-heartedly in Baby Led Weaning (in the British way, not the American "stop nursing" way) and we are starting to dole out smaller sized portions so that when V. asks for seconds, we can state "Finish your *insert whatever wasn't the absolute favorite of the dish* and you can have more *whatever it is she is after*."

And you know, it works for us.  I understand it doesn't work for everyone, but it is only first-world countries that boil and steam the vitamins out of whatever would have been healthy, puree whatever is left, and pass it off as good for baby.  We avoid feeding our children the very things we eat for fear of them being too spicy, too mature, or allergy-causing.  I'm not advocating feeding your 6-month old a chunk of sashimi dipped in raw honey, topped with wasabi, but babies can have spice and strawberries.  (In fact, recent studies suggest that by holding off you may be doing even more harm.)

That all being said, back to what this is really about.  My kid enjoying what is arguably one of the more delicious delicacies of summer.  She won't eat a hunk of mystery meat, but she will eat Caprese salad.

I didn't always enjoy raw tomatoes, but we don't let our food preferences shape our child's, so I've been eating more as they are around for her.

Then we got these fresh from a local farm (along with the cheese) and oh my.  We split three between us.  They were divine.


And could there be a lunch easier to make?  I did reduce the balsamic while slicing and dicing the rest.  I also use the olive oil and basil I would put on V.'s to make a little pesto.  Leaves are still difficult for her to chew.

A slight sprinkle of salt and some fresh pepper, and we're in the business.

Do not be fooled.  This was bite two or three.  By bite five, it was just too delicious to be slowed down by a fork.

Fortunately, there was more.  This time.  The next time she asked, it was gone, and she cried.  I may have cried a little, too.

I now know that my "issue" with raw tomatoes is not one of dislike.  I love tomatoes now.  But that is because we are eating local-fresh, organic, grown under the sun tomatoes.  If you ever believed hot-houses or grown in a galaxy far, far away were equal to local, natural foods, buy a beefsteak tomato at the grocery store and a tomato at your next farmer's market.  I promise, you'll change your mind.  It does cost more, but open your windows, ride your bike, or don't leave the shower water running so you can have a steamy bathroom.  You'll save money on your utilities to buy delicious tomatoes and the environment will thank you as well.